One thing that seems to cause issues at times is being in a relationship and having a donor separate from the person you are with. It can and has caused many problems in the community. Ideally donor is your partner, however, for many reasons that may not always be the case.
The best way to handle this is to be honest right from the start. Let your partner know your need for blood or energy or both and see if you can get them as your donor. Have them understand the effects of not feeding specially on your health.
If they are not comfortable becoming your donor, let them know you will need one eventually. Considering the closeness that can develop or even the seeming intimacy of a donor relationship they may have issues. One thing to be quite clear on is how it is not a sexual relationship in the least. Of course eros vampires will have more difficulties with this, as at times it is sexual for them to feed.
Communication is they key. Your partner should be your best friend, so aside from being open about your needs, you should also be open with each other about what would be comfortable or not. Discuss boundaries, what is allowed and not allowed, if it is a contact feed or non-contact feeding, how deep should the donor relationship go, if it would involve donor bonds or if you would allow such a bond to exist or not.
The vampire have the responsibility with being open about what goes on with the donor relationship and with letting your partner know about possible concerns that may arise so you can discuss it later on. Be honest with what they can expect to happen during donation and discuss it thoroughly. Understand that your partner may need your reassurance every now and then, given the intimate nature of donation.
On the other hand, it is the non-vampire’s partner’s responsibility to be understanding of his/her partner’s needs, while at the same time maintaining honesty about your reactions without having to go ballistic about it. Learn about what what type of vampire your partner is, how they feed, and what they experience when they do not feed. It would help you understand what they go through and would be able to empathize. Realize that this not something they can stop as having these needs are not their choice.
Of course you the vampire should also be clear to your donors about what you are looking for. Discuss your boundaries and what may be allowed or not allowed. For many donors, donating is a very intimate thing, and you should respect that. However, clarify that being a donor is not equivalent to a romantic relationship.
You as the donor should be able to respect your prospective vampires as well. Your gift is invaluable and ethical vampires honor that gift, but keep in mind that donating does not equate to being lovers. This is important to help you save yourself from heartache as well. Remember also to always be honest with your vampire, as to your expectations and boundaries from the get go in order to prevent disappointments.
Having your partner and donor meet is also a good idea if possible. It may help them be more comfortable with each other, and reassured about your respective relationships with them.
For sangs, it is also reassuring to all parties that you have your donor tested. And if it helps, test yourself as well. This will help ease many fears in many areas from who you are with.
Feeding from psychic energy tends to be easier as physical contact is not usually needed to feed on a donor. Or at least not as physically intimate with that of sang vampires.
Of course, due to possible bonding, emotional intimacy may also develop so despite not having physical contact, this is something that you may want to discuss with your partner as well.
Eros vampires have it really tough in this due to the nature of the feeding. But the above still applies. It all really boils down to talking, explaining, and being honest and open about it all. You would have to determine what your needs are first–how much feeding you need and how often; if you would need full intercourse or simple petting; if you need your donor to orgasm or not–and then discussing them with your partner and/or donor.
It may also help to learn different feeding methods of getting sexual energy from your donor without having to touch them, like working them up through words and then draining the sexual energy, or feeding via sexual dreams.
For some, having a more open or poly type relationship setup helps, specially if the sexual vampire’s need for energy is high. While some have their partner as their only romantic relationship, while the sexual relationship are simply for that purpose.
Sometimes, it may feel like it has to be a choice between maintaining your health or pleasing the person you are with, however it doesn’t have to be that way. Besides, a loving partner would want you healthy and well.
It would all depend on your dynamics and communication.